Forever the Road (A Rucksack Universe Fantasy Novel) Read online

  The Smiling Fire lunged forward, but Jade was ready. Her right hook caught him in the face. He spun around but stayed standing.

  She shook her hand, which reddened under the deep brown of her skin. “I’ve gotten worse touching a hotplate,” she said.

  “You will burn.”

  “Then bring the fire, smiley,” Jade replied. “Or do you even have it in you anymore?”

  The Smiling Fire took a step back.

  She laughed. “You greedy bastard. You overdid it, didn’t you? All these fires, all this death and destruction. You spent most of your power,” Jade said. “You could’ve burned us like ants under a magnifying glass on a sunny day, but now you couldn’t char a dung patty.”

  “That… That will not matter soon.”

  Jade glanced at the sky. Only a sliver of sun remained. The sky was black but for a dim light, a ruddy mix of red and gold that turned the broken city around them into bloody shadows.

  The glance was enough.

  The Smiling Fire grabbed Jade and thrust her backward.

  Jay winced at the flat, wet sound her body made when she hit the obsidian block.

  She fell to her knees, slumped over, and was still.

  “Jade!” he shouted, taking a step.

  “Stay where you are, Jay!” Rucksack leaped so that he stood between them and the Smiling Fire. Again, Rucksack spun the knife in his hand. He pointed the blade down then angled it back toward his forearm.

  “Do you bleed fire or shadow?” he asked, slowly waving the knife in front of him. “Let’s find out.”

  They met in a blur. Jay had never thought Rucksack could move so quickly. Hero of old, he thought, and hero of now.

  The two dodged each other’s blows first by millimeters, then by spaces no bigger than a crack in the sidewalk, then by atoms. Neither shadow nor blade could connect. They spun around each other, leaping from side to side, limbs blazing forward, then back or aside as the other blocked or countered. All the while, the last sliver of sun faded.

  Just when Jay thought it would never end, the Smiling Fire’s arm thrust out. Rucksack bent his knees, ducked, and swept underneath, all the while moving forward, his knife arm held close to his body. He slashed the obsidian blade across the Smiling Fire’s torso and side, raking the knife forward with him as he stepped through, as nonchalantly as he would have passed by someone in a crowded pub.

  The blade gleamed darker than ever.

  Now standing behind the Smiling Fire, Rucksack straightened his body and lunged back toward him.

  Before the Smiling Fire could turn, Rucksack raised his arm and shot it forward, plunging the knife into the center of the Smiling Fire’s back.

  If the Smiling Fire were human, Jay thought, Rucksack would’ve just skewered his heart.

  The howl was like the growling hunger of a forest fire.

  When I learned my parents were dead, Jay thought, this is how I screamed inside.

  Rucksack twisted the blade. The howl rose higher. Rucksack stepped in close, as if he was about to whisper a secret to the Smiling Fire.

  “If I could stop you when I was but a babe not even born,” Rucksack said, strong and level, “what makes you think you could defeat life now?”

  The howling stopped. Silence settled over the city.

  The Smiling Fire turned his head. His grin widened as he stared at Rucksack.

  Jay looked up.

  The moon covered the sun. A black disc hung in the sky.

  The mirror eclipse was full.

  The air shimmered. To the right, level with the black disc in the sky, a silver-and-gold disc appeared. Both pulsed. Below them, meeting at an angle that reminded him of the obsidian knife, the dia ubh pulsed too.

  Just as the silence had washed over his ears, a new sound swept the silence away. But this was no howl, no roar, no scream. The splitting noise was like every tree in every forest in the world breaking, and it knocked Jay to his knees. This was the cacophony of the world splitting in two. The cracking noise kept rising, kept getting louder, harsher. It popped and ruptured until Jay thought his own head would split in two.

  Just as the dia ubh split now.

  Twin gray halves slipped off the dia ubh, dissolving as they fell and leaving behind a gray-black globe. The noise faded. A spark, then two, flickered from the center of the dia ubh.

  “You’re too late!” Jay shouted, getting back to his feet. “This ends now!”

  The Smiling Fire struck. His left arm whirled back and an elbow connected with Rucksack’s head. Rucksack dropped the knife and staggered away. Then he rushed forward. The Smiling Fire swung again.

  Rucksack caught the blow in his left hand, but Jay could see how the fingers struggled to hang on, how the arm quivered.

  The Smiling Fire’s left arm came up.

  Rucksack crumpled to the ground and did not rise.

  “No!” Jay yelled. He glanced up at the dia ubh. It flickered and pulsed, its gold light getting bigger, smaller, then bigger again.

  It can’t be much longer, Jay thought. Please tell me it won’t be much longer…

  The Smiling Fire’s fingers faded from sight as he reached through the shadows of his chest. Slowly, the hand pulled forward again, and the long obsidian blade came free. The hole there closed up like night creeping over the last light in the world.

  “It comes,” the Smiling Fire said. He walked forward and raised the knife. The black blade glinted. “I return.”

  “Come on,” Jay said. The dia ubh kept getting brighter, but no light shone down. Then he looked at the Smiling Fire. “Fine,” Jay said. “Come and get me, then!”

  But the Smiling Fire stopped. “I wasn’t coming for you,” he said. “Not yet.”

  The Smiling Fire reached down, pulled up Jade, and slammed her onto the obsidian block.

  Then he raised the knife.

  THE BLADE PLUNGED. The discs of the mirror eclipse pulsed faster than the eye could follow.

  The golden light of the dia ubh began to pour down.

  I’m destined to be here, Jay thought. He saw his parents. He saw all his travels. He saw Kailash and her sacrifice.

  I can’t let the Smiling Fire destroy the world, Jay thought. But how can I become a god yet let him kill Jade?

  He looked from Jade to the dia ubh then back. Fear split him.

  Yet in between those choices, Jay saw the path.

  The Smiling Fire grinned. Jay met his gaze and grinned back.

  For a moment, something seemed to tickle him. Then Jay felt nothing but fear and cold as he leaped forward, moving faster than he ever thought he could move.

  Standing on the other side of the block from the Smiling Fire, Jay grabbed Jade and pulled with a surge of strength he had never known. He twisted and let go. Jade rolled over on the ground, away from the block and the knife.

  Jay turned back to the Smiling Fire. Golden light glinted off the point of the plunging knife. So pretty, Jay couldn’t help but think.

  At least it’s sharp.

  The blade disappeared into Jay’s chest with a bite both cold and hot. He breathed in the last life of the world. Then all his air whooshed out of him. His legs forgot how to keep him standing. Jay no longer knew if he was still grinning or if the pain had contorted his mouth. Jay had no scream, no cry. For a moment, he simply paused.

  Until, as even the pain faded, the Smiling Fire let go of the knife. Something in the ancient face twisted, just as Jay’s own smile had, but he could no longer trouble himself with what that was. The Smiling Fire stepped around Jay, moving past him as if in a hurry.

  Jay’s body slid down the obsidian block. I don’t want this to be the last thing I see, he thought.

  With one final ember of strength, he turned his body over so his back was against the stone. He hardly glanced at the knife sticking out of his chest, taking only a moment to chuckle in appreciation of the Smiling Fire’s aim.

  Jay’s punctured heart slowed, slowed, slowed. The blood was hardly spillin
g out now.

  Jay looked away from his broken body. I don’t think I’ll have last words, he thought. Maybe this will do.

  His smile stretched from ear to ear.

  Top that, you grinning bastard, Jay thought as the Smiling Fire rushed toward the golden light of the dia ubh. Smile all you want.

  You’re still too late.

  As golden as every dawn of every day from the first time the sun had risen over the new earth, it all began as the light of the dia ubh surrounded and suffused her. Their blue-and-gold brighter than ever in the brilliant light, Jade’s eyes opened wide.

  Just as Jay’s closed.

  INTO THE LIGHT, the woman faded.

  From the light, the goddess emerged.

  SHE SAW DARKNESS. She saw light. She saw every tendril of destiny, decision, and existence. She saw what was, what is, and what could be.

  Above all, beyond all, she saw who she was.

  Gold blazed across all things then transformed to white. Then she saw nothing as the light both intensified and compressed, pulling into her like breath and out of her like the force of creation spreading across the universe again.

  The light faded. The dim, rubble-strewn world of the city returned. Above Jade, the spent dia ubh faded and vanished. The frantic pulsing of the twin discs of the mirror eclipse slowed then became still. Slowly, the black disc brightened until both discs glowed white.

  In front of her, she saw Jay slumped against the block. The blood had stained his white shirt red.

  Rucksack got to his feet, staggering but steadying. On the far side of the block, the Smiling Fire lay still.

  He had rushed the light, Jade remembered, but the moment he touched it, he had been knocked away.

  Jade raised her arm. The Smiling Fire lifted off the ground.

  “Are you going to kill him now?” Rucksack asked.

  “No.”

  “He killed Jay,” Rucksack said. Anger seared his voice. “Nearly killed you.”

  “Not nearly,” Jade said. “He did kill me.”

  “And look at you now,” Rucksack said. “The Smiling Fire will continue trying to destroy. Jay was destined for this, you know. He was going to finish this once and for all.”

  Jade lowered the Smiling Fire onto the obsidian block. She and Rucksack faced each other from opposite sides.

  “Instead, Jay chose life,” she said. “He chose to save another’s above his own.”

  “So what are you going to do then, now that he changed destiny?”

  “The same as Jay did. I’m going to choose life.”

  “You’re going to spare him?”

  Jade looked down into the Smiling Fire’s face, waiting for the light to return to the dark eyes. “Not exactly,” she replied.

  “You’re a goddess now,” Rucksack said. “You have to do things like decide and act, no matter what.”

  “Being a goddess isn’t about life or death,” Jade said. “No god controls those things. Life and death are what we serve. Do I have the power to kill the Smiling Fire?” She grinned. “Oh, yes. And oh, yes, part of me wants to. But I see the greater power now. The true power of what I serve, what I am, and what I will always be.”

  “And what is that?” Rucksack said.

  A red-and-black spark came into the dark eyes.

  “The world,” the Smiling Fire said, his voice weak and quavering, “is so cold.”

  “Only to those who won’t be part of it,” Jade replied, seeking her strength, her courage, and finding something new: compassion—and possibility.

  He’s never tried to understand us, she thought. Have we tried to understand him?

  “You don’t have to hate this,” Jade said. “What is amazing about life is it adapts. If you are alive, then you can adapt too. The world finds a place for all things. The violent and the peaceful coexist. You could be part of this too. You wandered for so long with nothing living in the world. Then the world changed.”

  She stared into the red eyes and tried to see the world through them. “It must have been terrifying,” Jade said. “But you don’t have to stay afraid. Things can be different.”

  “What would you have me do?”

  “Give up your hatred. No longer seek to destroy all life. Infinite power will never be yours again. If you are to continue in this world, you must find a new purpose. I ask you to accept infinite possibility instead.”

  Jade touched the Smiling Fire’s hand, surprised at how cool it felt. “I’ll wander the world with you, if you want,” she said. “I’ll show you that there’s a place for you. You don’t have to control it all. You can live among us, accept what the world offers, and do as you will in return.

  “The joy of the fire of life is not control,” she continued. “It’s the sheer precious moment of being alive and of sharing that joy with the world. That joy is all around, if you want to find it. I’ll help you. You don’t have to be as you were. The world doesn’t have to be as it was. You were infinitely alone. Think of all you can be, together with a living world. I’m asking you… I’m begging you. Please give life a chance. It’s the last chance you have.”

  His voice rasped faintly. “I would be as nothing.”

  She shrugged. “We continue because we grow and change. You are ancient and powerful. Imagine all else you could be. Dream beyond who you were. Think of what you could be if all your power, all that vast power, became something other than a force against life.”

  “Cold,” the Smiling Fire said. “Stolen. Mine.”

  He flung her hand away.

  “You have a chance. But I can’t make you take that chance.” Jade stared into the red eyes and saw them flicker. She smiled. “Think on what I said. You can still turn away from this path. We can still find a way to coexist.”

  The Smiling Fire struggled and tried to rise.

  Jade waved a hand and he stayed on the block. “I offer you a choice,” she said.

  “You offer nothing,” the Smiling Fire replied. “The world is mine. It will always be mine. I have existed since the first spark. I will wait more. One day I will make ash of you, goddess.”

  Jade shook her head. “You do not want to learn. You do not want to live. Not in the world as it is. Not in the world as it could be. Only in the world that you lost long ago. Things will not be that way again. Not as long as I live. Not as long as anyone lives.”

  She leaned in close to his face. “You won’t destroy us. No matter how long you’ve tried, how long you’ve existed, you’re done. And you know it.”

  “Then… kill me.”

  Jade stared deep into the red-and-black eyes. “I won’t kill you,” she said. “But there will be no more prisons, and I certainly can’t have you running about as you have been.”

  She raised her hands. “You’re fighting me.” Jade smiled. “But I don’t think that’s all you’re fighting. So this ends now.”

  Rucksack stared at her. “What are you going to do?”

  “Take my hands,” Jade said, “and I’ll show you.” They joined hands, bowed their heads, and closed their eyes.

  “Cold!” the Smiling Fire said. “So cold, so cold!”

  Soon the words faded and he only screamed.

  “Jade?” Rucksack said. But she only clenched his hands tighter.

  The screams faded into whimpers and then silence.

  They opened their eyes and lowered their hands. The red-and-black gleam of the Smiling Fire’s eyes was all but gone.

  “I thought you weren’t going to kill him?” Rucksack said.

  “I’m not.” Jade smiled. “Do you remember when your mother said that to stand in the light of the dia ubh was to become the pure form of what was at the core of your being?”

  Rucksack nodded. “So, what are you?”

  “I am renewal and rebirth,” Jade said. “The path that could be taken. I am the goddess of choice and new beginnings.” As tenderly as if she were comforting a child, she touched her hand to the Smiling Fire’s face.

 
“Are you still there?” she said. “Can you answer me now, Jigme?”

  The voice that replied was no longer the rasp of the Smiling Fire’s. It was young, yet sad. “I’m here, Jade.”

  “Good,” she replied. “Here’s what we’re going to do.”

  JIGME FINISHED SPEAKING. It still was weird to hear his voice coming from the body of the Smiling Fire. The surprise on Jade and Rucksack’s faces said they were still getting used to it too.

  “There has to be a way,” Rucksack said.

  “We have all discussed it and discussed it. We have looked at it from every way,” Jigme replied. “There’s no alternative. But it’s okay. He died because of me. There are many who will remain dead, and that’s in part because of me. What happens to me doesn’t matter anymore, as long as I can bring back as many people as possible.”

  “I thought the souls had been preserved and protected inside?” Jade said.

  “Only those consumed in his fire,” Jigme replied. “Some died from the fires of the city or from smoke or from falling stone. They’re not coming back. They’ve passed on like all others who die.”

  Jade took a photo out of her pocket and stared at the smiling faces there. She closed her eyes for a moment. “So be it,” she said.

  Rucksack looked at her. “Are you okay?”

  “No matter the bluster you might hear otherwise, gods and goddesses aren’t all-powerful,” Jade said. “When there is so much that could be done, let’s just say it’s not easy to accept my limitations.”

  “Done, only not by you?” Rucksack said.

  “Not by anyone but the living and the mortal,” Jade replied. “Gods are just a nudge. When gods do too much, then instead of life being full and free, it’s just tended, restricted, manipulated. People are not pawns or toys. Often, the best thing a god can do is nothing. Maybe the most important thing to know is when to do nothing and when to act. I am only a power to transform—far as I can tell, anyway. This is all pretty much on-the-job training right now.”

  “I’m ready when you are,” Jigme said.